Motivation?

Blegh. It's been quite some time since I posted an angsty update, so prepare yourself.


The last few weeks have been especially hard to handle. Ever since I returned from Iceland I have just been seemingly unable to complete anything. I'm worried my grades are going to reflect this when school gets out in a month. For instance, I had an assignment due last Monday, and I did the second half incorrectly, so I asked the professor if I could redo it, he said yes, but it's been six days and I still haven't been able to complete it, even after I spent three hours the other day staring intermittently at the reading and the blank word doc where my answers should have gone. I don't even have the willingness to edit that last sentence so that it isn't a run on. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!


I just have so many ideas and thoughts and story lines and questions and things in general rushing through my head and I don't know which one to grab first and focus on, I don't know what's worth paying attention to and what's worth pushing to the back for a bit, and it's driving me crazy!!!! I can't focus on everything at once but since I can't decide what to focus on, it seems as if I'll focus on nothing instead.


I keep telling myself that I need motivation, but that's not true, I have TONS of motivation, I just need like an organizer for my thoughts. And I need to just pick something, do it and check it off my list, although a lot of the things on the list are things that I either can't do by myself, or will take a lot of time to set up and execute, like my theatre thing that I want to happen this summer. I know I can make it work, but I don't know where to start to make it work, it's all just so frustrating!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!


SO MUCH VENTING OF ANGST!!!!!!! BLEGH!


I feel better after venting, maybe now I will be able to actually get something done!!!!! Who knows. I guess I'll start with that assignment, although he may not be willing to accept it now. Here's to hoping.

I don't feel much like writing posts...

But I have been writing short stories and drawing a lot so uh happy Tuesday?

Hello!

Waiting for posts from Iceland? Don't worry, they will be up soon, I've just been so busy with so many other things since I returned. My once in a while job has turned into a steady scheduled 10-20 hours a week, RHA is currently slaving away to plan two major events for the Residence Halls, and my normally hectic class schedule now has midterms added in, as well as the finishing touches on my Study Abroad application that is due in Friday, and hasn't been signed off on yet.


Oh wow, I forgot March was almost over.... crapola.


Birdy

KEF to JFK

I’ve got a copy of the Times,

A cup of shit brewed coffee.

A laptop open to a blank page,

And smart water since I never eat from the cafe.

Pandora’s playing in the background,

All about being alone in a crowded room.

Discounted book that I don’t need,

From the Borders that’s closing down the street.

My phone's on vibrate, 

Just got a text from Iceland.

The bill's gonna piss off my parents,

But the kid was so nice that I couldn’t help myself.

Class in an hour,

My homework’s not done,

But I’ll blame it on the jet lag, 

Even though I’ve got none.

Iceland felt nice,

Like a taste of adulthood with an added measure of fun.

Now I don’t know what to do since I’m back in the states,

New York city’s so bright, but it’s not home.

At least not at this moment, at least not for me.

Freedom’s a plane ticket, some friends and a good book.

Keeping a journal so that in ten years I can look back,

And read what we thought. 

Harsh at times, yeah I guess,

But for me it was the best.

Ten days in Reykjavik, that we waited months for,

Now it has passed and we don’t know what’s in store.

Nothing is planed but the Times and a coffee,

Class at four thirty with a a hint of the city.

Iceland-Day 0

I leave in 13 minutes. This is so epically awesome and mind blowing that I don't even think I should further attempt to express it. So instead I will leave you with a short Hurah for Iceland, and adventure, and friendship, and all of the paths that lead a person from childhood to adulthood. Cheers.




Birdy

New toy and Iceland excitement part 1!

So I got a new toy recently, a drawing tablet that lets me make pictures right there on my computer screen! It's awesome and my hands are literally numb from how much I've been using it since I brought it home on Tuesday. The best part about it is that it was essentially free! I used a gift card that I've had since Septeber to buy it, and I'm really glad I did...


So to honor my upcoming trip to Iceland (EXACTLY ONE WEEK FROM TODAY! AHH!) I decided to use my new unnamed tablet to reproduce pictures of things I hope to see/experiance on my trip. Idealistically I hope to reproduce and post one picture a day until I leave, we'll see how that actually works out though...


To start us off here is a picture of the "grass houses" that I redid in a George Seurat-esq style (what can I say Sunday in the  Park with George is on repeat in my head)

My Version

The Original

Peter and the Starcatcher

The story of Peter Pan, the boy who refused to grow up, I think it's safe to say, has been a staple of Western culture since it first appeared on stage in 1904. Peter, Wendy, Nana, Captain Hook and all of the other characters have entertained generations of children around the world, but one thing that I'm sure every kid has asked themselves at some point or another is "how did Peter become Peter?"


Eventually all those kids grow up, and they loose their sense of wonder, or at least they are supposed to.


Five men, however, seem to have defied the convention of growing up to forget about Peter, and instead they set out to answer the question. Two of these men, Ridley Pearson and Dave Barry, wrote a book called Peter and the Starcatchers which set out to tell the story of Peter Pan, before he was Peter. Then came along Rick Elice, Roger Rees, and Alex Timbers. These three decided to put Peter back where he belonged, on the stage.


Elice turned Ridley and Barry's book into a stage play, and Rees and Timbers brought it to life as Peter and the Starcatcher. 


The idea behind what they were doing seemed interesting to me, especially since I'm in that pivotal phase where I realize that I have to grow up and as such envy Peter. I didn't know if they would be able to pull it off, but the buzz about the show had been building, so on a whim I convinced a friend of mine to walk down to New York Theatre Workshop with me and see if they had any student tickets left, however, it was the very first night of previews and I was fairly certain it would be a no go.


Surprisingly it all worked out, and we somehow managed to get tickets in the second row of the intimate little theatre. We walked in to find a gold painted proscenium lined with pictures of the classic portrait of Peter Pan, and a rickety looking set comprised of wood planks. This is about the point where I realized the show would either be really artsy or really cheesy. I wasn't sure which I would appreciate more.


The cast then began to filter out onto the stage and interact with each other in a sort of pre show show. I'd seen this only once before, and was highly intrigued. Then the two directors, Rees and Timbers, came out and explained that not only was this the first public preview of the show, but it was also going to be the first complete run-through for the cast. "Wow, hopefully they don't screw up." "Yeah, but it'd be cool to say we were there if they did." "True." (My friend and I are obviously really nice people...)


I don't want to ruin the show for anyone so I'll skip the plot and just say this, the 12 actors (11 male and 1 female) all performed rather brilliantly the 50 or so characters, the dialogue was full of rapid fire wit, and as soon as you grasped the meaning of a scene the next one started, effectively keeping the audience enthralled and on the edge of their seats.


I enjoy a good show more than most people my age, but Peter and the Starcatcher affected me in ways that I didn't think were possible. I went into the show like most people probably did, full of wonder and envy caused by the boy who wouldn't grow up. When I left however, I was filled with pity for him, this poor boy who is forced to eventually forget all of the adventures he's had in order to preserve his childhood innocence.


This show wasn't just a great piece of performance art for me, I feel as if I grew up a bit myself while watching it. As weird and cheesy as it seems, by the time I'd finished watching the 2 hour and 45 minute show, I was somehow much more ok with growing up. It wasn't that I wanted to grow up, but I realized that the sacrifices one would have to make to stay a child just didn't seem worth it; poor tantalized Peter who simply wanted a family, seemed worse off at the end upon losing the person who acted most like his family, even though he'd now be a boy forever. His fate seemed more like a curse than a prize.


Growing up can suck, but staying a child forever seems like a far worse fate, and I find myself envying Peter less and less the more I think about it.


This is how a great piece of art changed my mind in just a few hours, interesting how things affect us in ways we'd never foresee.


Thanks for reading, and if you have time, I do highly suggest a trip to see Peter and the Starcatcher at NYTW.


Birdy